Going Through Initiation With My Baby
by CrimeGirl912
Summary: Tris gets pregnant a month before Tobias's choosing ceremony, (even though it is bad, especially in Abnegation), and their perfect plan to both choose Dauntless and leave, is about to fall apart as now Tobias wants to choose Abnegation to be with Tris when she has their baby. Tris is only one year younger then Tobias. More info inside the story. Please read both author notes.
1. Beatrice and Nik

**AN: Hey y'all, so I have never exactly written a divergent story, but I do read them and write them at school. However, I just have never published them… But since it is almost past midnight and I am not allowed to go to sleep, this idea came to mind and I had to get the prospect of this story out in to the open for you guys to read. **

*******Please read everything below it is super important in order to read this story!********

**Idea: What would happen if a girl got pregnant before the choosing ceremony? What happens to the baby, and what about the baby's daddy? **

**Changes for this story: The choosing ceremony is for when you turn eighteen, not sixteen because I had to change that for this story to work, and Fourtris not seem like bad people because they aren't. HOWEVER THOUGH, Tobias is one year older then Tris.**

**Summary: Tris gets pregnant a month before Tobias's choosing ceremony, (even though it is frowned upon, especially in Abnegation), and their perfect plan to both choose Dauntless and leave, is about to fall apart as now Tobias wants to choose Abnegation to be with Tris when she has their baby. Tris determined to leave the selflessness ways behind and Marcus deciders otherwise and makes him go. Now, set one year later and it's **_**her**_** turn to choose, will she pick Dauntless with her baby, or will something else happen to her and her baby girl? **

I wake in the morning to my mom sitting on the edge of my bed rocking and cooing my baby girl. My beautiful baby girl who is a perfect mixture of her daddy and I, as she has his eye color and all of his facial features except for the lips, hair and ears, they are all mine. My mom readjusts her and walks up to the top of the bed and sits down next to my head, as I pull myself up into a sitting position. I take a simple peek over my mom's shoulders and look at my daughter who is sleeping soundlessly, and judging by the look on my mom's face the only reason that she even bothered with picking her up from the crib was because she _knows_ that I am not going to be choosing Abnegation today. She always has a way of knowing these kinds of things, like I swear she knows who I had sex with and who is my daughter's father. All she had to do was take one look at my baby after I had giving birth and she gave me a knowing smile and a wink.

I look up at my mom and before I realize what is happening I am pulled into a one armed hug by her only free arm, which I quickly return and let a few tears fall before I stop crying and stand up to get dressed for the day. I walk to my closet first and grab the same Abnegation dress that I own seven of, one for each day of the week. I quickly go to the bathroom and take off my nighttime clothing, and replace the outfit with the dress, and then brush my hair and teeth along with washing my face. As I walk back into my bedroom completely ready to go, I see my mom putting my daughter in a grey onesie, along with a grey headband with a grey flower on the headband. Ever since she was born, Nik, had always had such thick hair. But I refused to cut her hair, I like the way her baby soft hair felt as I ran my hand over the top of her head on the day she was born. That was what made her unique, special, her own self, which is what made her Nik, plus I had also thought the name sounded very Dauntless-born.

I am pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of my mom's calm and soothing voice. But, I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't catch what she said. "My bad Mother, what did you say?" I ask in the normal Abnegation way of speaking.

"What I was saying Beatrice is that if it were allowed, I would just go ahead and put Nik in a black outfit for today, but we don't own any." My mother says with a playful smile playing across her face.

"I have no idea what you are talking about Mother, putting her in a black outfit would be absurd and pointless." I say trying to blow off the fact that my mother knew what I was really going to choose today at the choosing ceremony. I walk over to where both my mother and daughter are standing and simply take Nik out of my mother's hands, and as I am about to walk out of my Abnegation bedroom for the last time, a hand on my shoulder stops me. I turn around and notice that now my mother is holding something in both of her hands, I can only see the back of the object, but I would assume for the object to be a picture.

"Beatrice, I know that you aren't allowed to have anything of your old faction with you in your new faction, but try your best to hide this picture. The picture is for Nik to keep and hold on to, that way she will remember all of us." My mother says all of this while looking between my daughter and me, and at the end, when she is completely finished she hands me the picture. I look down at the picture and remember when the picture was exactly taken, last year the night before the choosing ceremony. All of the people in the picture are my dad, my mom, my brother, whose name is Caleb, and lastly Tobias and I, the picture was taken exactly one hour after I had told Tobias that I was expecting our little miracle. Tobias had come over since Marcus had to check on last minute ordeals for the choosing ceremony the next day, and he didn't want to leave Tobias all alone at their house.

The conversation didn't go over very well with Tobias; he was upset, mad, and determined to stay in Abnegation that way he could be there for me when I went into labor, and for all of the doctor's appointments that I would have to go to. But, in the end I had won because I couldn't let him be around Marcus anymore since he had turned eighteen and was finally allowed to be free. Although he understood my point about Marcus, he still said no until I asked him if he wanted our baby to be stuck in Abnegation where her abusive grandfather was. I knew the minute the words had come out of my mouth that I had won, but that didn't mean that I didn't feel any less guilty for what had said, but they need to be said.

I come out of my trance by a light knock on the door, and my mother opening the door to Caleb and my father standing on the other side, not really asking but more along saying that we needed to leave in order to arrive on time. My mother and I follow the two of them to the front door way where my father stops abruptly and turns to look around at Caleb and me. In his eye's I see nothing but pride when he gives Caleb a hug and tells him that everything will be fine. But when he turns to look at me, his eyes change from pride to disappointment and sadness, especially when his eye's land on Nik who I am still holding in my arms, a stranger could take one look at our family and know for a fact that my father has given up on me quite a lot since I told him that I was pregnant, the same could be said about Caleb also. Mom was the only one whoever truly understood what was going on, and only looked at me with love and caring eyes.

My father still gives me a hug and a kiss on the head, and repeats the process with Nik, as I hand her over to him to hold one last time. From there I notice that my mom had been talking to Caleb and given him a hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye. My baby girl then gets passed from my father to brother who, to my surprise, whispers sweet nothings to her while promising to always love and care for her. Lastly, Nik gets handed off to my mom again as Caleb gives me a hug and kiss on the cheek, _like father, like son_, I think to myself. I return the hug to Caleb, and then collect my daughter from my mom once again, and then we all head out the door and walk to where the choosing ceremony is being held.

We arrive at the auditorium, and while making a bee-line for our seats we walk in a straight and ordinarily fashion, as we are to set an example to all of the other Abnegation people. I sneak a peek behind me, and notice that all of the other Abnegation families have followed our example also, and soon all of the Abnegation people are seating together in a clump while all of the other factions are talking to one and each other. This only serves as another point as to why I need to get out of Abnegation. However, if leave Abnegation then the minute that I cut my hand open with the knife, I will have to do the same for my baby also. As the rules have always stated that if a teenage girl was to get pregnant and change factions at her choosing ceremony, then the baby's hand must be cut open also to represent that her baby was to go with her. Now, if something had happened to the teenage mom, and the father was to take the baby with him to his choosing ceremony, the same rules still apply.

I am averted from my thoughts at the sound of a fussing sound coming from my arms and find that Nik has woken up, she is probably hungry but we aren't allowed to bring any type of food and drinks with us to the ceremony, so all I have is to breastfeed her. I quickly look up to my parents as if seeking permission to be allowed to feed my daughter out in public. My dad of course shakes his head no, and my mother can't object since Marcus is standing right next to my father talking to him. I am mad and infuriated that I am not even able to feed my daughter, but I understand the reasons as to why not, so for my time being I pull out her pacifier that I had brought with us on the way out the door. I gently rub the pacifier near Nik's mouth and watch as she sucks on the binky vigorously, only breaking my heart even further since I know how hungry she is. But maybe on the way to Dauntless, or when I am sitting over there on the other side of the auditorium where all of the Dauntless are, for now I just sit here and wish that Marcus would finish talking to my father, and get the choosing ceremony done and over with.

After what feels like an eternity Marcus walks up to the stage and begins his speech after Jeanie Mather's has finished her speech. Where Marcus is standing there is one table that gives you five different bowls to choose from, for five different factions. The first bowl is glass for Candor, the second bowl is earth for Amity, the third bowl is water for Erudite, the fourth bowl is grey stones for Abnegation, and lastly the fifth bowl is lit coals for Dauntless. In other words, the honest, the peaceful, the intelligent, the selflessness, and the brave are what are inside each bowl, and marked with the faction symbol on the back, inside of the bowl.

Marcus finally calls up the first person, going in order from our last name starting with the last letter in the alphabet. A boy in blue walks up to the stage confidently and picks up the knife given to him by Marcus's assistant, he cuts open the bottom of his palm and places his palm over the water. He is an Erudite, he is intelligent, and he chose where he came from to be his home. After him I watch and listen to about five more of my peers all pick the faction that they came from before I become board and zone out while becoming lost in my daughter's exquisite features that she inherited from her mommy and her daddy.

I apparently zone back in at the correct time to watch a boy in a white top and black bottoms, a Candor, slice the top all the way to the bottom of his palm open and place his hands over the lit coals. He is of the first of us to transfer to another faction. Gasps and mutters are heard from amongst the crowd of Candor, Amity, Abnegation, and Erudite, but not Dauntless, as the Dauntless stomp their feet and clap their hands as they welcome the new boy into their faction. But he is now seen as a traitor and won't be welcomed back into their family, even on visiting day when they have the chance to and go see their son, they more than likely won't, or if something happens and he becomes factionless they can want to let him back in to their family, but the factions don't allow that to happen.

The next name that gets call draws my attention as the name Marcus just said was Caleb Prior, my brother. I watch as Caleb walks confidently over to where the bowls and knifes lay rested on the table, and I know how with the first both who chose that Caleb with chose Abnegation, and that he will stay here with Susan, one of our neighbors who flirts with him and he flirts back, and even marry her and raise the simple Abnegation family like my dad wanted. That is why I think that I am the most shocked when he chose Erudite; he is a traitor just like the Candor boy. Even more gasps and mutters are heard as my brother walks over to the Erudite section and sits down with them shaking their hands and talking to all of them. Then it all clicks, the textbooks that I saw last night on his desk in his bedroom, his ability to do _all_ of his homework in under a half-an-hour each and every night, and how he knows everything about everything.

Now I know that I have to be the child who stays, and lives an Abnegation life, who follows her parents, mainly her dads, expectations. But then I look down and see the life that I created with Tobias and I know that I have to choose Dauntless, for my baby and her daddy. That is when I hear my name being called next, so I stand and walk out of the aisle without looking back, and I walk down to the stage and straight to where all of the bowls lay. As I am walking up the stairs to where Marcus and his assistant await me, I can feel all of the disapproving stares from everyone in the crowd because I am holding my baby. And becoming pregnant before your choosing ceremony is frowned upon the most, especially if you are Abnegation.

I watch a the assistant lays down to knife as if to say, "just in case" I nod my head in thanks towards him and select the first knife, but not before rearranging Nik in my arms so now she was up against my shoulder and her little hands grab the fabric of my dress, I apply pressure to just barely puncture my palm, but the amount of pressure that I apply is more than I would have imagined. That may be because I am small also, or the skin is just tougher than I had from my predicted. But I know that as I pick up the second knife, and I hear all of the gasps and mutters from behind me that everyone knows I, we, are switching.

I readjust my sleeping angle in my arms again and look at her peaceful and innocent face and untangle one of her hands from my soon-to-be old Abnegation clothing. I quickly but gently slice and pierce the skin on my baby's hand, but no matter how gentle I am with her she ends up waking u p and screaming form the pain. So I scurry over to the lit coals and clench her hand in a fist and drip her blood over the coals quickly followed by my blood also sizzling on the coals too. I grab the cloth that Marcus's assistant handed me and first dry Nik's small hand from the small amount of blood and then do the same to my hand. Only then, as I hear the screaming and shouting and clapping of Dauntless members that I realize something that I didn't realize before as I was too concerned about my daughter. Mostly I, but we are selfish, and we are brave.

Once I reach where the Dauntless are sitting a black man stands up and offers me his seat, which I take without complaining, my first act of being selfish as a Dauntless member. I sit down and rock my crying baby until she calms down and relaxes, once she does that I hum a lullaby that my mom would hum to me as a child and would hum to Nik some nights also when my baby would have trouble sleeping. After I finish with the lullaby, I notice that she is completely out again, and only then do I let a few tears fall because _I_ made my baby cry, _I_ put her through that pain. Now, all we can hope for is that the pain and suffering will pay off in the end.

**AN: There ya'll go, that is the first chapter of my story so far. Please let me know what you think about the story. Constructive Criticism is always welcome; however, THERE IS A FINE LINE BETWEEN CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISIM AND BEING JUST PLAIN RUDE AND MEAN. Any grammar mistakes are my fault because like I said before, I am not allowed to go to sleep, so sorry about them. Chapter two will be up as soon as possible!**

**Also, do you guys think that I should publish my other stories, if so why?**

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	2. Tris meets Four

**AN: OMG that has to be the most reviews, follows, and favorites that I have received on a first chapter. EVER! I guess I have to start writing **_**Divergent**_** fanficton more often than my favorite crime shows. Which is what I normally what I write. Thanks to all of the people who looked at this story, and read the first chapter, and thank you to the guest also. Sorry about the grammar mistakes, and once again, all mistakes are mine. You will also notice some slight differences in the story line, but not by much.**

*******Important, please read! ********

**ALSO, FYI THE FIRST CHSPTER IS THE LONGSET CHAPTER THAT I HAVE EVER WRITTEN, SO DON'T EXPECT EVERY CHAPTER TO BE LIKE THE FIRST ONE! AND DON'T EXPECT UPDATES TO BE **_**TO**_** FREQUENT, I NORMALLY HAVE A HARD TIME UPDATING ON A SECHUDLE. **

Previously:

Once I reach where the Dauntless are sitting a black man stands up and offers me his seat, which I take without complaining, my first act of being selfish as a Dauntless member. I sit down and rock my crying baby until she calms down and relaxes, once she does that I hum a lullaby that my mom would hum to me as a child and would hum to Nik some nights also when my baby would have trouble sleeping. After I finish with the lullaby, I notice that she is completely out again, and only then do I let a few tears fall because _I_ made my baby cry, _I_ put her through that pain. Now, all we can hope for is that the pain and suffering will pay off in the end.

I take one more look back at my parents and see the disappointment radiating off of my father through his glare, and I also see the pride and excitement on my mother's face. But, I know that deep down inside they are still sad that we, my daughter and I, are leaving and never returning. I am forced to turn the corner by the rest of the Dauntless pushing their way through the crowd, so I simply just follow them. As we leave the auditorium I realize that the Dauntless take the stairs just like the Abnegation, except the Dauntless run down the stairs for excitement and the thrill of someone possibly getting hurt.

We reach the bottom of the stairs and bolt for the door that lets us become free and run wild, but just as I take a step outside and go to follow the rest of the Dauntless I feel a hand touch my shoulder and pull me backwards to them. I turn around and immediately recognize who the person was; I could never be able to forget them anyways. As I stare into Tori's eyes, the women who administrated my aptitude test yesterday, I feel her push something against my body and once I look down I see a black, leather material that straps on to my chest, a baby carrier for me to put Nik in.

"I normally don't come to the choosing ceremony, but I remembered from yesterday that you had a kid, and just in case you _did_ choose Dauntless I wanted to make sure that you had something to help you for what is going to happen next." Tori answered for me as I look at her with a skeptical look on my face. Though, I am already trying to readjust Nik, without waking her up, so I can put the baby carrier on.

"Here, let me take her for you so you can put the carrier on." Tori says as she goes to reach for Nik, and I don't know why, but I know that if I can trust her with me being Divergent, than I can trust her with my daughter. So, I reluctantly hand Nik over to her, and she takes her with such ease that I am wondering how she knows how to hold a baby the correct way. I strap the carrier on and quickly take Nik back from Tori and place her inside of the baby carrier before I turn back to Tori.

"You need to go now; the others are almost already on top next to the tracks." Tori said as she herself takes off running to catch up with the rest of the Dauntless members. I am not too far behind her and watch as few Dauntless start to climb up the poles holding the train tracks in place and start to follow their example. I look down and check on Nik, she is starting to wake up again and is fussing with the hand that I had to cut open early during the choosing ceremony.

Surprisingly, I climb up to the tracks with such ease that I am shocked at how easy all of this is that I don't understand why Tori gave me the carrier. I know that I could've climbed up one handed without falling. But then I add to myself, _hopefully._ That's when I hear, no feel, the vibration on the tracks and realization dawns on me that now we have to jump on a speeding train. _I have to jump on a speeding train with my four month-old._ I think to myself, and then all of a sudden I am so grateful for Tori coming here and helping me out. I look across the tracks and see Tori standing directly on the other side with half of the Dauntless members getting ready to run with the train. I smile and nod my head in thanks, and right before the train arrives and blocks my point of view of her, I see her smile back.

I am standing on the tracks as the train goes accelerating past me, and I only start running when I hear another boy yell ahead of me to come on. I start running in a simply jog and quickly change my speed to a sprint as all of the train doors are opened up for us to jump on. Yet, I am still running and I know sooner or later that I _need_ to jump or I will become factionless. I sneak a peek behind my shoulder as I wrap my right arm protectively around Nik's petite body, (no doubt she will be more along my height and frame compared to Tobias's muscular body and tallness), and with my left arm I grab the handle of the door and pull my body into the last cart right before I run out of space to keep running.

I land in the cart on my knees just like if I was kneeling and praying to God. I hear another voice talking and look up to see a brown-skin girl with short black hair wearing a white shirt and black pants, a Candor transfer. I stand up and ask her what she had said; after she repeats herself I answer back and sit down telling her to do the same, unless she wants to fall out of the train from the wind and speed. We sit down and I look down to check on Nik, she is starting to stir and wake up so I softly hum the lullaby that I was humming to her at the choosing ceremony. The lullaby doesn't work though as I know she must be very hungry from not having anything to eat yet since we left the house.

I ask the Candor girl that I just met; Christina is her name, if she could hold Nik for me while I take the carrier and my overdress off. She agrees saying how she has a little sister and used to always hold her as a baby when her mom would need help. I unstrapped the baby carrier and gently passed Nik over to Christina. Once I know that Christina has a good hold on my baby girl, I take the overdress off and I can feel everybody's stares immediately on me, as well as some whistles from a couple of boys in white and black, two Candor transfers. I pull my shirt out from the leggings I had on underneath and using my overdress I cover up my breast, which have enlarged since I found out I was pregnant, I don't look a twelve year-old anymore but more as a fourteen year-old.

As I take Nik from Christina and start to feed her I can hear the Candor boys snickering and making rude remarks and comments, I shoot daggers their way and out of the corner of my eye I see Christina doing the same. I can't help but wonder if she knows any of the other Candor transfers. I decide to not worry about that thought very much and look back down at my daughter and just focus on her facial features. Before I know what is happening I am completely mesmerized and lost in her daddy's eyes. Must be an Eaton trait, they all seem to just steal my heart, or at least most of them.

"THEY ARE JUMPING OFF OF THE TRAIN!" I hear somebody yell and look over to my left to see that Christina heard them as well, and pretty soon everybody is standing up leaning outside of the train to watch the other Dauntless in the cars ahead of us jump off of the train and on to a rooftop. Without asking her I quickly pass Nik to Christina, but not without Nik fussing about not getting to finish eating, and Christina takes her with no problem. I shoot her a thankful smile which she returns. Just as I fix all of my under clothing I decide to throw my overdress out of the train door, _a factionless person can use my overdress know,_ I think to myself and pick the baby carrier off of the ground. I double check that all of the straps are secure before taking Nik from Christina and strapping her in the carrier.

The next thing I realize is that Christina, Nik, and I are the last ones left on the train and we are losing space to jump on the rooftop.

"Together?" She asks me.

"Together." I answer back. "One," I say starting the count off.

"Two." She copies.

"Three." I finish for us.

We launch ourselves into the air and fly across the ground beneath us and land on the rooftop both of us falling on our knees and hands. I can feel the impact from when I landed on my knees and elbows, I know without even checking that I scrapped my right elbow. I look down to see Nik staring up at me wide-eye with so much curiosity floating around in her striking blue light bulbs. Just like her daddy, _oh how I can't wait to see her daddy, and for them to met for the first time,_ I think to myself as I stand up and brush the gravel off of my clothing and body. I hear a scream coming from near the edge of the rooftop and I look over to see two Dauntless-born, a boy and girl, crying at something on the ground underneath them. I don't even have to walk over to know what they are looking at, so instead I follow Christina over to where a few Dauntless leaders are standing at.

I zone out and ignore what one of the leaders, Eric he said his name was, is saying and instead just rub soothing circles all around my baby's back to keep her from fussing. I jump back in at the end when I see Eric jump off of the ledge and on to the rooftop to stand off to the side with another Dauntless leader, Max. They are waiting for one of us to jump off of the roof and straight down to what may possibly be our death. I hear Christina make a snide remark about having us jump off of a rooftop, since we just jumped on _one_ from a moving train.

I look down at my little angle messing with the cut on her hand and she keeps sticking her wound in her mouth. I take the injured hand out of her mouth and rub my hands gently over where I cut her palm and cringe as I see her face contract in pain and she starts to fuss again. That is when I see her look up at me with those eyes, and I know that I have to be the first jumper, that I have to get her to her daddy, and that I have to see my love for the first time in a year. I hear Eric getting impatient, and complaining so I volunteer.

"Me, I'll jump." I say while looking Eric straight in the eye and watching from my peripheral vision as everyone clears a straight path for me to jump.

"A Stiff to be the first one to jump? Unheard of," Eric says, as I walk straight forward and lean over the edge of the building to see a bottomless pit for me to jump through. I can hear that Candor boy, Peter I think his friends called him, making a few comments about me as I stand up on the ledge and take a few deep breaths as I get ready to jump.

"Today Stiff." Eric says from where he stands off on my right. I wrap my right arm around Nik's lower back and bottom, while my left arm holds her head to my chest and then I bend my knees and jump.

I landed on something rough and hard that gives out underneath my body and throws me back up in the air a couple of feet before I fall back down and just bounce a few inches this time. I look down to see Nik's eyes wider this time then the last time, and I take a few deep breathe to calm my racing heart down before I talk to her.

"Hopefully that's the last time we have to jump baby girl, but you never know with the Dauntless." I whisper just loud enough for only her to hear, and watch as her gaze averts from staring at my chest to tilting her head upward to give me a small smile as if to say that she understood me. I return the smile and pretend that she actually did understand me, I like to pretend that way sometimes when I am alone with her back at my Abnegation home.

I involuntary roll to my left by someone's hand pushing down on the net and their other hand holding outstretched for me to grab and be pulled off of the net for the next jumper to jump. Without looking at who the hand belongs to I grab their very strong and muscular hand and climb over the edge of the net where they lift my entire body off of the net and on to stable ground. As soon as I have my footing, they release their hold on me and I look up to stare into my daughter's eyes. Except that my daughter is on my chest, not stand in front of me. That person would be her father, my lover, Tobias.

"To-" I go to say Tobias but the man standing in front of me quickly cuts me off with what he has to say.

"My name's Four; I will be your instructor for your initiation. What's your name? And, think carefully, you don't get to pick a new one any time soon." Tobias, no _Four,_ says as he stares straight into my eyes and I stare straight back at him. I watch him carefully as his eyes avert my gaze and land on our baby, who babbles to herself on my chest. Surely he has to know that she is our baby.

"Um, Tris. My name is Tris." I state matter-of-factly because Beatrice just doesn't seem right to say. Beatrice is very Abnegation, Tris is more Dauntless. Which is what I am, Dauntless.

"Alright. FIRST JUMPER, TRIS." Four yells as he turns his back to me and around to where a group of Dauntless is standing in the shadows before finally emerging into the light from the sky above. I look at my Tobias one more time and realize that he isn't Tobias, he's Four. Then right as I go to say something to him I am interrupted by a scream coming from someone up above who had just landed in the net.

"Go stand over there out of the way with the rest of the Dauntless." Four says, and I oblige without ever once turning back around until I reach where he instructed me to go. He is my instructor now, not my daughter's father nor my lover or my best friend. I look down at my daughter and I am overcome with sadness at how she will never get to know her father for who he is, her father. I watch as he helps somebody else off of the net and I realize that he really is gone. _I've, we've lost him forever,_ and I think to myself as I pull my daughter out of the carrier and hold her in my arms. We are all the other has left; we are each other's family from now on.

**AN: Okay, okay, calm down ya'll this **_**IS A FOURTRIS STORY!**_** I will explain everything better in the next chapter as answers will be revealed, and the only reason I ended this chapter there is because imagine yourself as Tris, in her shoes, how would you feel? Exactly. Anyways, please leave a nice little comment below. Also, starting next chapter, I am going to use everybody's name assuming you already know who everybody is just to make the story a little bit easier. **

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	3. For The First Time Ever, Again

**AN: Alright y'all here is chapter three, and the only reason that I am giving you guys chapter three is because I have never received so many reviews for any story ever before. Keep them coming, and I'll keep the chapters coming. BTW, FROM NOW ON I AM GOING TO ASSUME THATYOU ALREADY KNOW WHO ALL OF THE INTIATIVES ARE AND LOOK LIKE. You will also notice that I change some things, and I am rewriting both the movie and book. A big thanks goes out to everybody who has reviewed both chapter one and two and this one, I will thank you personally. Thanks to my guest reviews too, and can you guys leave some type of name so I can thank you in the next chapter. **

Previously:

"Go stand over there out of the way with the rest of the Dauntless." Four says, and I oblige without ever once turning back around until I reach where he instructed me to go. He is my instructor now, not my daughter's father nor my lover or my best friend. I look down at my daughter and I am overcome with sadness at how she will never get to know her father for who he is, her father. I watch as he helps somebody else off of the net and I realize that he really is gone. _I've, we've lost him forever,_ and I think to myself as I pull my daughter out of the carrier and hold her in my arms. We are all the other has left; we are each other's family from now on.

"Alright, I'm Four," Four says, once all of the initiatives have jumped, while pointing to himself. "And this Lauren," He points to the women standing next to him who has thick dread locks and piercings, as well as tattoos.

"We will be your instructors for your initiation. I will be training the transfers, and Lauren over here will be training the Dauntless-born. Transfers and Dauntless-born will be trained separately from each other, but all of you will be ranked together. " Four continues, as we are now walking down a deserted hallway away from where the member's entrance is. I almost bump into the person in front of me as we come to an abrupt stop at the end of the hallway, except for two black double doors that I can barely make out in the dimly light hallway. The only way I know where we are going is by a small blue light about every two to three feet.

"Transfers with Four, Dauntless-born with me, you are all going to lunch as I assume _you _don't need a tour of this place." Lauren takes over now, and I watch as the Dauntless born turn left and go down a hallway that I hadn't even notice because of the darkness. I watch them as they walk all the way down the corridor and enter through another set of black double doors at the end of the hallway where a bunch of people dress in black bang on tables and are yelling and screaming.

"Follow me through these doors and I will show you the way around the Dauntless compound. The first place we will be heading is the pit." Four instructs as we walk down through the doors behind him and enter an area where there are people fighting each other and others cheering them own. Everybody is wearing multiple shades of black complemented with their piercings and tattoos. The piercings are in place that I physically cringe at while I look at all of them, and then look at the area around them.

"Wow, now I know why they call this place the pit." I hear Christina mumble from next to me, and I certainly can agree. There is an incurving slope in the middle of the area that is directly under a ceiling a few stories up above that let's in the only source of sunlight from the sun. I also notice people walking up and down stairs on either sides of the wall; the stairs have no railing and are _literally_ like steps mounted to the wall. I see Christina looking at the stairs as if the Dauntless people are insane, which they are, and now are we.

"I am defiantly not allowing Nik to climb those stairs until she is an adult." I whisper while looking at Christina. We both get a good laugh at out that, as she whispers back a comment agreeing to my statement. I do a 360 degree turn next, and realize that there are shops all around the "pit" and some even look as if they are your normally food and clothing stores. _I think I can grow to enjoy the Pit. _I think to myself, and I am interrupted from my thoughts by all of the Dauntless cheering and the two who were fighting before are both bleeding. One is unconscious and carried away, more than likely to the infirmary or hospital, and the winner stands up yelling and screaming.

I look around the Pit when an idea dawns on me to look for a baby store, as I know I am going to need baby supplies. I start a mental list in my head, and carefully start to undo the Velcro straps to pull Nik out of her carrier, I see a few heads turn toward my direction to look for the source of the sound. I ignore every single one of them until I see a pair of black small hands, Christina's, to help me. I undo the last strap and pull Nik out of her carrier as Christina grabs the carrier and helps me with the straps in the back so that way I can take the leather material off. She takes the carrier off and hands the black material to me, as I take and hold the carrier in the hand that I have under Nik's bottom, I take my other hand and slings Nik on to my right hip and readjust her so that way she and I are both comfortable.

As if reading my thoughts Four looks straight over at Nik and me, before turning around and pointing to a store straight across the Pit. "Initiative, the baby store is directly over there, right next to those set of stairs with the graffiti on them." Four says aloud, and only drops his hand when I now my head in thanks. Then I want to ask him how he knows where that store is exactly, except I know better than to ask him now, compared to later. Not before long a voice yells out to him.

"Ah, Four there you guys are. I would've assumed that you had been in the Training Room by now. I have been waiting there for a while." Eric says as he walks over to where we are all standing still looking around the Pit.

"Well Eric, there was a fight going on and so I thought that I would let them watch the fight going on." Four answers back as he doesn't even acknowledge Eric's presents, but instead I watch as he goes ridge and tenses up, I am guessing that they don't really like each other very much. I look between the two, and try to figure out why Eric looks so smug and Four looks like he is ready to _kill_ him.

"Anyways, have you informed them about the final rankings yet? Please say no, I want to see all of their faces." Eric asks Four while looking at us with an even more cocky expression on his face, and a smile that is pulling all of his piercings that I almost feel bad for him, _almost._ I look at Tobias and see his eyes quickly look at Nik and I, he looks as if he is guilty, but then that look is quickly replaced by his "instructor, I-have-no-emotion-face, Four." Then, Four looks directly at Eric and shakes his head "no" to Eric's raised eyebrows.

"Good," Eric comments, obviously happy by the answer that he was given. "Through each stage of training, that is three stages, you will be ranked with the Dauntless born and the total bottom four, two of you and two of them, will be cut. This will happen at the end of stage one and two, and then anybody under the bottom ten after the final stage will be cut also. So, basically only ten of you will actually become a Dauntless member." Eric sums up at the end while practically looking like a teenage girl who just saw her favorite actor on T.V.

I feel my entire body go numb, and Nik feels as if she weighs over the nine pounds and ten ounces that she actually does weigh. I don't know what to do or what to think, I feel like I have just lost all control over my life. I have to fight to live; I have to fight for my daughter to not become factionless. I can distinctively hear Eric, Christina and Will arguing over how that isn't fair. I know without looking that some people are looking at me with pity on their faces, pity because I have a child to think of too. I also know without looking that some people, Peter, Drew and Molly mostly, are looking at me with a smug look on their faces.

I jump back in when I look over to see Tobias staring at Nik and then looking at me, but our eyes only connect for a few seconds before he stands up and clears his throat to catch our attention. But just as he goes to speak the Dauntless in the Pit erupt into more cheers and stomping when the injured guy that lost the fight before returns and hugs the man who beat him. Then when I look closer at the two I realize that they look _exactly_ the same, _identical twins_, I think to me. I stop staring at them when I hear Nik start to yelp loudly and bounce up and down on my hip, she's cheering along with them.

"Aw, is she cheering along with them? If so, that is just so cute, and even if she isn't she is _so_ adorable." An initiative says from behind me, and I turn around to see a girl holding a boy's hands directly behind me, Myra and Edward. She look's from me to Nik and starts cooing at Nik, which Nik responds o with more cheering and bouncing up and down.

"Uh, yeah, I guess she is cheering with them, and thanks also for the complement. She's always been a happy baby since she was born." I answer back while stroking my baby's head starting from her hair all the way down to underneath her chin where I know she's ticklish. Never one to disappoint Nik starts to giggle and tries to grab my hand. I let her get my hand and hold my skinny hand in her small chubby ones.

"Huh, so _Stiff _why don't you tell all of us what her name is, and how old she is? While we work our way to the Chasm and training room, and from there you will all be dismissed for lunch. Let's go," a voice booms from the front where Tobias is standing, except the voice isn't Tobias's voice, that voice is Eric's. I turn back around to where Eric is standing and watch as from behind him Tobias stares straight into the back of his head.

I take a deep breath before I answer's his question as we walk down another series of dark hallways and corridors away from our only source of light. "Her name is Nik, N-I-K, and also she is four months old today." I respond back as we continue walking and I hear the distant sound of roaring water.

"What about her dad, huh, what happened there?" Eric continues pressuring me on for more answers that I am not too sure I even want to answer, ever. Yet, I do anyways.

"Oh, her dad, um, he um, he transferred from Abnegation." I say stuttering and finally catching myself in the end with a good reason, and I wasn't lying either, he _did_ transfer out of Abnegation. This is how I didn't get aptitude for Candor. Then I realize that I am only hoping my answer was good enough for Eric's expectations.

"Oh yeah, and where did he transfer to?" Eric says turning around and walking backwards while he ask me these question as if he isn't intervening in my personal life at all. I take in a deep breath and I see Christina look over to me with sympathy in her eyes. I also see Four's entire body stop moving for a second before he continues walking, but still very tense. I stay very quiet trying to figure out an answer without completing lying to a Dauntless leader, even if that leader happens to be Eric. I don't answer but instead look at the person's head in front of me and hope that if I keep quiet Eric won't press the matter forward anymore and drop the subject completely.

But then when we all stop moving and Eric walks through the crowd to stand in front of me with his pierced eyebrows raised waiting for an answer, I know that I need to just lie. I have to lie to a Dauntless member, and if he ever finds out that I didn't tell him the truth I know for a fact that I will be cut, which means that Nik will be cut. She doesn't realize the pressure that I am under, because technically she is leaning on me and her future depends on me. _Come on Tris, there is a reason you didn't get Candor, and there is a reason that you have to stay in Dauntless. That reason is falling asleep on your chest right now as we speak._ I tell myself as I come up with an excuse to please Eric. So, as I am ready to tell him a lie somebody starts talking before I can. But not really talking, more like snickering.

"What did you just say Candor?" Eric ask as he walks over to where Peter is standing, I see out of the corner of my eye that Tobias is watching Peter and Eric with a menacing glare in his eyes. By now Eric is directly in front of Peter's face.

"I was just thinking of a very bad joke, listen bro, a Stiff of all people pregnant before the choosing ceremony. I mean a _Stiff._ Hey, by the way does the Stiff over there get sometime of special advantage during our ranks for having a kid? What will happen to the kid anyways, will she become factionless with her mother?" Peter asks, and I am shocked, not by his questions, but by the fact that even though Eric is standing in front of him, Peter still looks all smug and cocky.

"First of all, does she get any special advantage you asked, no she doesn't. You are all treated fair and equal here in Dauntless. Bravery is what we believe in. Secondly, you're a coward for fearing your spot in Dauntless by a Stiff, or anyone for that matter. Thirdly and lastly, yes the kid will become factionless with her mother. Now, you sure you weren't from Erudite Candor?" Eric answers while walking away from Peter and leading us down one more hallway until we are at, what I am assuming is called the Chasm. The roaring of water is very loud that I cover Nik's ears as she starts to fuss then cry, and buries her face into my collar bone, while her hands grab my shirt and her face turns red.

I rub my left hand up and down her back in soothing circles, and with my right hand I hold her small head in my hand and readjust her to my shoulder and bounce her up and down to try and soothe her even more, but that works to no avail. Christina takes the baby carrier for me, so I have the ability to use both of my hands to calm down my upset child. I only look up when I hear Tobias start talking, not when I feel everybody's eyes on me.

"The Chasm reminds us the fine line between bravery and who just plan idiots are. One jump and you will die. Every year somebody jumps, every year so someone will jump this year. Let's just hope that this time you are one of the one's to jump." Tobias says talking very fast, probably trying to get Nik away from the Chasm as soon as possible. That's when I wonder if her screaming affects him as badly as I am affected. I would like to think so. Eric waves a hand in the air pointing to our right, and we all take off to the right.

"Wow Four, never thought you actually could talk that fast? What was that all about?" Eric asks him as they lead us down a couple more hallways before we reach another set of black double doors. I look up at his questions, and I am pretty sure my face displays my shocked emotions right now.

"Well _Eric,_ not everyone is as cold as you are, and I know for me that hearing an infant crying isn't something that I want to ever listen to." Four responds back staring Eric straight in the eye as they stand face to face with each other, and just like that I have mixed-emotions as to what Four had just said to Eric.

"Alright then," Eric says with a sly look on his face as he nods his head along to an invisible rhythm that only he can hear. After Eric responds back to Tobias, Tobias opens the doors and I see multiple beds all laying in one room, some next to each other, while others are not. We all walk in and wait for further instructions, and in this time being Nik has calmed down slightly, so I wipe her wet cheeks and eyes with my sleeve.

"You will notice a total of ten beds because that is the most we suspect of you guys to arrive each year. This is what we call the dormitory, where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks during your training and initiation." Four says as Eric stands at the door waiting for everybody to entire before he closes both the doors shutting us in here.

"Boys or girls?" Asks a tall Candor boy, Albert, Al.

"Both," answers Tobias as he walks past the beds and continues on to the end of the room. I hear a few girls, Christina mostly, making remarks about sleeping in the same room; while the boys clam they have no problem with sleeping in the same room. _Of course they don't, why would they? _I think to myself as I follow Four.

"Oh if you love this, you're going to love the bathroom even more." He states as we walk to where the bathroom is apparently, and apparently the bathroom is in the same as the dormitory, with no privacy. _Awesome, I can't wait!_ I think to myself again. There are a few more calls from the boys as they clap each other on the backs, and the girls groan in frustration.

"Choose your bunks, and change your clothing into the Dauntless clothing over there in the boxes, then in the next room burn them in the fire, and come see us in the cafeteria for some lunch." Eric states as he and Tobias walks away and goes to leave the dormitory, but then I realize where is Nik going to sleep? So, I call out to them before they leave.

"Wait," I call out as I stand in the middle of the dormitory next to the bed that Christina said I was going to sleep in because her bunk is right next to mine.

"What Stiff?" Eric says trying to portray annoyed, but I can tell by the look in his eyes that he is genuinely curious as to what I have to say. So does Four, as he turns around and looks at me as if he knows exactly what I am going to ask them.

"Where will Nik be sleeping? I mean, I am going to need a basinet if she's sleeping in here with me, because she can't sleep on the bed. She'll roll off and get severely hurt." I state explain my case to Eric and Four waiting for an answer. Eric is the first to speak up out of the two of them as they both approach me walking in perfect sync together.

"Well Stiff, that's not ou-" Eric goes to say but is interrupted by Tobias.

"With me," Tobias answers my question, with a smirk on his face and I know that if everybody wasn't staring at us then, they are by now.

"With you?" Eric asks turning to stare at Four as if he has two eyes. I haven't taking my eyes off of Four yet. Maybe my baby's daddy _is_ ready to be a father, and _maybe_ he hasn't forgotten about us after all.

"Yeah, I already have everything. Zeke and Uriah helped me set up the basinet and crib, along with the changing table, and buying formula, bottles, dippers, wipes and pacifiers. I left the clothing, bed sheets, toys, burp towels and all the accessories to Shauna, Lynn, and Marlene." Tobias, _my_ Tobias that I have been waiting to see since I arrived, is finally here, and has just said the words that I have been waiting to here for the past year. He was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to come out.

"You knew they were coming today, didn't you?" Eric states as he walks up to Four and stands right in front of him, with a pissed off look on his face. Tobias has yet to look away from Nik and me taking turns from looking into my eyes and looking down at Nik's small form. He did know that we were coming today, and he was ready, he was prepared. He wants to be Nik's father, and if the look on his face says anything to me, then I know that he wants to be my lover, my best-friend, and the one that I get to share forever with again. I don't think, I know, that I have never felt so much love towards someone before, besides my angle that's asleep in my petite, yet protective arms. I will always be looking out for her, and so will her dad also.

"Yeah I did know they were coming today Eric. Why?" Four challenges as he finally looks away from us, and stares hard and deep into Eric's eyes. His nerve has grown over the last year; he would have never stuck up to someone, especially a leader like that before.

"HEY, THAT'S YOUR KID. UNFAIR, HE'S PURPOSELLY GOING TO MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T GET CUT NOW, SO HE CAN KEEP HIS KID!" Peter shouts from the other side of the dormitory. As he, Drew, and Molly come to walk up to where the three of us are all standing.

"No, your rankings won't be affected, because more than likely I would take Nik if Tris would become factionless." Tobias states looking Peter in the eyes with a look that I wouldn't be surprised if Peter wetted himself from looking at. I am very thankful for Tobias all of the sudden, because even though he didn't help me out earlier when Eric wouldn't leave me alone, he's hear for me now.

"Nik is your kid, isn't she Four? And let me guess, Tris is your girl. I'm right Four, aren't I?" Eric asks Four as he looks between Four, Nik, and I.

"Yeah, Nik's my daughter, and Tris is my girlfriend." Four answers him while yelling back for the rest of the initiatives to get back to their business, quickly slipping into "instructor Four mode." Before long Eric and Four are having a staring contest with each other.

"Is Max aware of this _arrangement?_" Eric asks after a few minutes have passed of neither one of them blinking nor backing down from the competition. In this meantime, I have moved on to getting undressed in my Abnegation clothing, going very slowly as I have to set Nik down on the bed and hold one hand on her chest to keep her from falling down off of the bed. From there, I slowly take my shirt of, exposing my fourteen year-old chest to all of the boys, but surprisingly nobody makes remark as the tension in the room is still on high alert.

"Yes, I told Max this morning. He wasn't all that thrilled with this, but he agreed as long as you oversee the training and rankings, then there would be no problem." Four states, and by now I have a tight fitting black V-neck shirt on over a tank top. I would have normally grabbed a baggy t-shirt; however, Christina got my clothing for me. I slip my pants off my baggy pants next and slide on tight fitting black skinny jeans and a pair of black socks and combat boots that she picked out for me also.

"Well, I guess that I will see you all in the cafeteria then." Eric says bitterly and walks out annoyed as Tobias turns his attention over to us. By now Christina and Myra offered to take Nik for me so I could fix my hair and readjust myself. I take my hair out of the Abnegation bun that I my mother had put my hair in this morning, and as I run my fingers through my hair combing the knots I decide to tie all of my blonde hair up into a high pony-tail. I tie the laces on my shoes also and straighten out the wrinkles in my new V-neck top. Everybody has also already take their clothing out to the fire and burned them, so all we have left, and own now are the rest of the clothing that we aren't wearing and are still in the boxes, plus the clothing we have us now. The only one not wearing black right now is Nik.

I am sitting on the side of my bed, watching and talking to Christina and Myra, who are sitting on the edge of Christina's bed, and both are facing me, take turns holding, rocking and cooing my baby girl. That is when I feel the bed give way next to me as somebody else sits down, I don't even have to look to know who sits down next to me, yet I still do. I look up to see Tobias has sat down next to me, our eyes connect but only for a brief second before he is brought back down to looking at Nik.

"Here," Four says while reaching in his pocket and pulling out a black onesie that has writing in red on the front. But with the angle that he's holding the onesie, I can't see what the outfit says. "I bought this outfit the first day that I arrived on choosing ceremony last year." He finishes while handing the outfit to me so I can see and read what the red letters say. I turn the outfit over in my hands so I can read what the letters say, and I notice how the fabric is made of very soft silk, and as I read what the red letters say I can't help but let out a small laugh. The letters are burning in an orange glow in the background, the Dauntless symbol, but what the writing say is what makes me even happier than I already am. "Daddy's Brave Girl" is written in bright red letters inside of the circle of the Dauntless symbol, and with the flames orange.

"Can I, uh, can I put the onesie on her, please?" I hear Four ask from next to me, and as I look up to see him, I see Christina and Myra watching us from the corner of my eye.

"Of course. She's your daughter to, you know." I say while handing the onesie back to him, and watch as he looks over to see that now Myra is standing up holding Nik to her chest, waiting for Tobias to ask. He takes a deep breath, and then all of a sudden he looks over to me with a panic expression on his face.

"I don't know how to hold a baby," he says, and that explains the look on his face all of the sudden.

"Here," I say while climbing up on the bed and getting on my knees behind him. "I'll show you how. Myra, bring Nik over here to us please." I look up and give her a gently smile, and notice that Christina has left for lunch already, and as soon as Myra hands me Nik, she walks out also leaving me alone with Tobias and Nik for the first time. "Copy the way I have my arms," he obliges and I set Nik down in his arms for the first time, again. I lean over his shoulder to see the look on his face, and notice that he has tears in his eyes and a few on his cheeks. At that time, Nik decides to wake-up, and she yawns and outstretches her hands, I place one of my hands on her chest, while the other is on Tobias's neck slowly scratching up and down, and that is when I feel his tattoo, and look down to see two lines sticking up along his neck. She grabs hold of my hand and looks up to see Tobias and me looking down at her, and she smiles up at us, and starts to babble in her own language.

"Nik, I would like you to meet your Daddy for the first time ever. Daddy," I say while turning my head in the direction of Tobias. "I would like you to meet _our_ daughter, Nik, for the first time ever, again." I finish and wipe a few tears off of Tobias's cheeks, and then I hear him sniffle, and look down to see him smiling up at ne with pride written all over his face.

"We made her, Tris, we _made_ her." He says with outer amazement in his eyes. "I should get her dress so we can go to lunch, I guess." He goes to stand up and lay her back down on the bed and undoes the Abnegation onesie and with my instruction and guidance he places her in the new onesie, and pulls out a black tutu from his pocket. The tutu is black with a light orange glow underneath the first layer of the tutu, and then has a red layer underneath the orange layer. He slips on the tutu, and the pulls out a black pair of sandals and a black, red, and orange headband bow. He puts the sandals on, while I comb my fingers through her hair and put the headband in, soon she is all Dauntless looking and ready to go.

"Give me all of her Abnegation clothing, I'll hide the outfit and we can store the outfit for the future." Tobias says, and picks her back up, and places her on his hip like he saw me do early, and stuffs the Abnegation clothing in his pockets and we head out to lunch.

"Ready to go?" Four ask me one last time, and takes my smaller hand in his bigger one. I intertwine our fingers together.

"Ready." I say.

**AN: Hey y'all, here is the end of chapter three, I am trying to make my chapter's at least two-thousand words long, and so far I have meet that expectation. I hadn't meant to make this chapter end right here, but the chapter is already VERY long and I didn't want to make anybody board. If you want to see something in future chapters, please just tell me so. **

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	4. The Past Is All Coming Back To Me

**AN: Hey y'all thanks for all of the kind reviews. Thanks to Guest Red, and, Guest Liv, Guest Aynomounus, as well as any other's that I missed. I will take both of your guy's opinions, as well as everybody else's, into comment. For the one Guest who said to make this a war story, that would be to tricky to do, and I am going to make this a no-war story. I am going to try and make all of the chapters based off of the book, but as you will notice, I am going to add certain people to certain points in the story. Lastly, here is chapter four. SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE, I WAS SICK, AND THEN, (AND STILL AM), NECK HIGH IN HOEWORK AND ESSAYS. **

Previously:

"We made her, Tris, we _made_ her." He says with outer amazement in his eyes. "I should get her dress so we can go to lunch, I guess." He goes to stand up and lay her back down on the bed and undoes the Abnegation onesie and with my instruction and guidance he places her in the new onesie, and pulls out a black tutu from his pocket. The tutu is black with a light orange glow underneath the first layer of the tutu, and then has a red layer underneath the orange layer. He slips on the tutu, and the pulls out a black pair of sandals and a black, red, and orange headband bow. He puts the sandals on, while I comb my fingers through her hair and put the headband in, soon she is all Dauntless looking and ready to go.

"Give me all of her Abnegation clothing, I'll hide the outfit and we can store the outfit for the future." Tobias says, and picks her back up, and places her on his hip like he saw me do early, and stuffs the Abnegation clothing in his pockets and we head out to lunch.

"Ready to go?" Four ask me one last time, and takes my smaller hand in his bigger one. I intertwine our fingers together.

"Ready." I say.

We arrive at the cafeteria with Tobias still holding Nik, and us still holding hands. We walked here in complete silence, except for Nik's happy babbling and Tobias cooing over her, because we are comfortable and content to just be together again as a family. We walk through the doors and I can feel everybody's stares on my family, and I can hear the gasps and mutters. I keep my head down and watch my combat boots and trust Tobias to lead me to where we will be sitting. He leads us to a table off to the side and we sit down, I finally look up to see we are sitting with Christina, Will, Edward and Marlene. Tobias sits down on the edge, and I sit down next in between him and Christina.

I stare at the food in a container in front of us, and pick one up with a fork and out in on the plate in from of me.

"That's called a hamburger. Don't tell me you've never eaten a hamburger before?" Christina asks me as I put the hamburger down and closely examine the new type of meat.

"No, I haven't eaten a hamburger before." I say, answering her back and watch as Four pushes some type of red sauce in front of me.

"Here, put his on your hamburger. This will help with the taste." Tobias says and I oblige doing as he says. Then I hear Christina groan from next to me, and I am about to ask her what's wrong when I see the problem myself. Eric has just sat down across from Tobias and me. I can immediately feel Tobias tense up from next to me; I also see Nik squirm a little as Tobias tightens his arm around her protectively. Everybody sits in an awkward silence as nobody says anything waiting for Eric to start speaking since evidently Tobias isn't going to. Eric takes a deep breath looking like he is going to speak, but before he even manages to get a word out of his mouth, watch as he glances over to Nik, then myself, then back over to Tobias.

"Max wants you as a leader, Four, and so I am supposed to ask you if you want the position or not." Eric says in a voice so monotone that I wonder if he was a transfer from Abnegation also. But as far as I know, Tobias, Nik, and me are the only ones that have ever transferred from Abnegation. I look over to see Four's reaction to Eric's statement, but to my surprise, Four looks like Eric could be doing something better with his time then instead of asking Four if he wanted to be a leader. I then am honestly curios if Four gets asked that question a lot, and if so, he must have ranked high in his initiation in order to be a Dauntless leader.

"No Eric, and you can tell Max that for the Fourth time, my answer is still no, and will always, no matter what, be no." Tobias answers back while readjusting Nik so he can get some food to eat himself. I make a mental note to myself to ask him later what all of that was about. In the meantime of Eric arriving and talking to Tobias I have finished my food and I reach over to take Nik from her daddy that way he can eat now, but with a simple squeeze of his hand on mine I look up and see that he isn't quite ready to give rid of her yet.

So, I pull my hand back from her waist where I was going to pick her up, and instead I place my hand on her back and slowly work my way up her body to head running my fingers through her thick hair and watch as she flutters her eyes and starts to shut them. I look up and around for a clock and find one on the back wall, as I read the time I look back to Tobias to see him thinking the same thing that I am thinking, Nik is becoming tired because her daily nap time got ruined by all of the excitement from this morning. Tobias goes to speak but is interrupted by Max and Eric standing on the railing above us hollering and shouting for us to quiet down, I zone out for most of the time until I am being told to stand up, which I do like a monitored robot.

I turn to Tobias and I'm about to ask if he is willing to give up Nik, so I can hold her for a little bit but then I see a swarm of Dauntless running towards us and picking all of the initiatives up and carrying us around the cafeteria as they holler and cheer for us. I feel multiple hand touch my back, and some get a little too friendly with my bottom, as they pass all of us along from one person to the next. That is when I really feel like I am free, I feel like I have officially left Abnegation life behind and I am free to be me. I clap a brown color hand as they pass me, Christina's hand, and she too looks free and like she has finally found a home. Maybe I have found a home also, a home where I can live with my daughter and with her father. Where _I_ can feel like I belong somewhere, where I can fit in.

We are being lead back to the hallway where the dorms are situated at, but as we walk down the hallway the dormitory is directly on our right as we keep walking. I hear a murmur of anticipation and nervousness comes upon the rest of the initiatives behind where I am walking with Nik on my hip fast asleep. The next double set of doors that I see are down at the end of the corridor, and I get the feeling that at is where we are headed as Tobias and Eric start to slow down the pace that we are walking at. My assumption is proven correct when Eric stops and turns around to face us to talk to us, and Tobias go and stands near both of the doors with his back resting on them.

"This is the Training Room where you will be spending everyday from eight to six, with a one hour lunch break when you are dismissed. After training hours are over you are free to go and do whatever pleases you, HOWEVER," Eric says raising his voice as he continues. "You are not permitted to leave the Dauntless compound without a Dauntless member. Finally, you guys _do_ have a curfew, only while you are in initiation though, but you are expected to be in your bunks, lights out, between nine and ten PM at night." Eric finishes locking eyes with each one of us before he turns around with a mincing look on his face. "Your turn Four, oh and by the way, in case you ever _need_ a babysitter, I will have no problem watching the mini-Stiff for you and the Stiff, _Stiff._"

I see the anger rise up and watch as all of the other initiatives turn their heads in shock my way and back to where Tobias and Eric are having a staring contest.

"Thanks for the offer Eric, but the Stiff and I kindly decline. We can take care of our own child." My head shoots up from looking down at Nik's sweet and innocent face when she is sleeping, and up to where Tobias stands when I heard him start talking. His body postures is so rigid and tense that with just by looking at him, you wouldn't think his was born with the ability to bend his bones in his body. His mouth is also tensed and his teeth are gritted together as he talks to Eric and smiles at him with a look that could kill you.

I stare at Tobias, and my gaze never falters to Eric's retreating back as much as I want to watch him stride away confidently and cocky, thinking that he has won this little debate. I can feel everyone else's stares looking at Tobias, Nik, and me. I wish they would just look away, especially from Nik; my daughter has nothing to do with this. My little angel had got caught in the middle of something that she had no control over; she got caught in something that I'm not even sure _I_ have any control over. But before I could do anything about the stares and glares from Peter, Drew and Molly, Tobias opens up the double doors to the Training Room and we all follow him in without questioning what we are doing.

I can tell by how quickly Tobias's body changes that he has turned into our, _my,_ instructor, Four. We walk to the center of the room, and I am in awe of all of the training equipment that Dauntless has, all of the _dangerous _equipment that the Dauntless have. I am a little nervous, no frightened, to be in the same room as Peter, Drew, and Molly when all of the weapons are out, I am mostly frightened because I know they already are out for me because I have a past with our instructor Four, but I don't like the fact that Nik is in the room also. That is what has me frightened out, and by the look on Four's face, a look that I can barely see because he does have a pretty good façade, Four is thinking the same thing. He is frightened too, and that only makes me more scared and nervous, as my Tobias as always been strong, even through Marcus's beatings and Evelyn's passing, as well as her being beat by Marcus also.

I listen intently as Four explains the rules and what to expect for training. He gives us the basic run down of what will be happening in our initiation too, and what, as well as _how,_ to meet Dauntless expectation to pass our initiation. He starts with stage one, physical training; we will be pushed to the limits and to our breaking points, and the initiations at the bottom of the rankings will be cut afterwards. Fights are included in this stage; they are counted towards our ranking also. Stage two, mental training, is one that we cannot prepare for according to Four, stage two is a stage that not even the Dauntless-born are ready to face also. That scares me, as Dauntless-born have _sixteen years_ to prepare for their initiation, and even they can't be ready to face what we will be put through.

The last and final stage, stage three, which relates to stage two somehow, but Four won't go into further details with us. He dismisses us, and we have the rest of the afternoon and evening until curfew to do whatever pleases us. Everybody piles out at once and I stay behind in hopes of talking to Tobias, but when he turns around and I see the anger that is still inside of him boiling back up to the surface, I know from our past in Abnegation that I _need _to leave right now, especially since Nik is now here and alive. I know that Tobias wouldn't be able to live with himself if he hurt me, but if he were to hurt Nik, I'm not sure that I would be able to live with myself if I were to witness that happen.'

So reluctantly I turn around and poise Nik higher up on my hip and walk out even as I hear him, my lover and my daughter's father, call out for me to stop, to stop and turn around and to come back to him, and that he won't hurt Nik or me, and how he won't hurt me again, how he will be able to control his anger this time. But flashbacks of what happened right before he left Abnegation, while I was pregnant, come rushing back into my mind like a movie, and I walk out, I walk away. This time, for once, _I_ am the one, who leaves, and walks away. This time, it's my turn.

**AN: Dun, dun, dunnnnnnn. Since I haven't been able to update recently, I threw in this twist at the end for pure excitement, and because I also wanted to. I also wanted to engulf farther in their Abnegation past, and the history that they shared with each other. Never hurts to try right? Leave me with a thought on this idea please? Come on, you know you want to help your favorite author out, right? **

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	5. Dauntless Moments Compared to Abnegation

**AN: Sorry guys! I have been extremely sick lately, (what's new?) and I am very tired right now, so sorry if this chapter seems choppy, short and horrible, but I wanted to get something up today. Nevertheless, thank you to my entire wonderful guest reviews and reviews in general. Also, to the people who have stuck with this story and me through thick and thin. With that, on to the story. **

Previously:

So reluctantly I turn around and poise Nik higher up on my hip and walk out even as I hear him, my lover and my daughter's father, call out for me to stop, to stop and turn around and to come back to him, and that he won't hurt Nik or me, and how he won't hurt me again, how he will be able to control his anger this time. But flashbacks of what happened right before he left Abnegation, while I was pregnant, come rushing back into my mind like a movie, and I walk out, I walk away. This time, for once, _I_ am the one, who leaves, and walks away. This time, it's my turn.

I walk aimlessly down the empty hallways thinking about what had just happened back there between Tobias and me. I also think about how I just hurt him, when my only intentions for coming to Dauntless in the first place were to be with my lover and our daughter, for all of us to be together as a whole for once. Though, deep down inside I knew that this was never going to work as easily I would've liked, as Tobias would've liked too. We come from two separate worlds, and we are in this relationship with each other that makes absolutely no since on paper, and we are trying so hard to make this work, if not for us, then at least for Nik.

I continue to walk through the maze of Dauntless while looking at the ground beneath me and listening to Nik's cheerful blabber when a though dawns on me, _are Tobias and I even in a relationship?_ I ask myself this question a few times without ever breaking eye contact with the tips of my shoes as they meet the concrete with each step that I take. I am still looking down at the ground until my shoes bump in to a wall and my head hits something cement, I look up to be staring back with the only conclusion that I have been able to reach between Tobias and me, _a wall. _I rub my forehead from where I ran into the wall, and look over at Nik to see her watching something over my shoulder, I turn around and I have to squint to be able to see what she is seeing. That's when I hear the click of something, I take a few caution steps forward and see a camera mounted on the wall focused on Nik and me, and the electronically controlled device looks as if someone _is_ indeed controlling the camera after all.

I shrug off the feeling of being watched and decided that I should get used to the feeling since now I am in Dauntless. _If I make initiation and I rank in the top ten in order to stay in Dauntless_, I remind myself and slump down against the left side of the hallway and lean my head to the left so that way my head is rested on the dead end wall that I ran into. I move my knees up to where my feet are firmly planted on the ground and take a deep long breath as I remind myself to breathe in and out and focus on Nik. I move Nik from my hip to my drawn up knees and rest her back against them and put her feet up to my lips and blow raspberries on them and relish in the sound of her laughter.

I repeat the same action again except this time I bend my head down to her tummy and blow raspberries there, and once again I receive the same result; laughter. I do this over and over again, each time my eyes are closed as I spend this moment with my daughter, moments that I couldn't have had back in Abnegation. I then take the moment to breath in her barely there fresh, new baby smell and open my eyes to stare into her deep ocean blue eyes, just like her daddy. At this thought I look down at the black onesie and reread the letters on her outfit that her daddy got for her, even though I can hardly see anything in the dim Dauntless light besides her bright and alert eyes always ready for an adventure.

I take her tiny hand into y bigger ones and kiss them as I lift her tiny frame up to my chest and hold her close to me. I gently stroke her up and down from the top of the back of her head to the bottom of her lower back and hum her melody that I have been singing to her quite a lot lately. _Maybe I do that as not a soothing method for _her,_ but a soothing method for _me? I quietly ask myself in my incoherent head, and only when I don't receive an answer from myself I ask my beautiful, oblivious, babbling daughter.

"What do think Nik, huh, does Mommy sing that song out loud for herself or for you sweet baby girl? Huh, what do you think?" I ask my four month old daughter, asking as if I actually expect a response back from her. And maybe I do? I don't know anymore, but when I look at Nik again I see her eyes focused on the camera again, except this time the camera isn't trying to center in on us like before, but the device is still pointed in our direction.

"Why are you so fascinated with that camera babe? Hmmm, are you going answer Mommy or not?" I ask Nik a couple more questions again, waiting for a response like before, but like before, not receiving an answer. Not that I was really expecting one from my daughter anyways. But if so, why do I feel like I was, like I still am?

I place butterfly kisses all around Nik's face and relax each time I hear her giggle. I am so caught up in the moment with her that I don't even realizing what is happening when I hear a pair of heavy footsteps coming close to this hallway where I am at with Nik. I only come back from being caught up in sweet oblivion when the pair of heavy shoes echoing become louder and louder, as they draw nearer and nearer to my exact location. I tense and stop the actions that I am doing causing Nik to pout at me and give me a curious glance. I just kiss the top of her forehead in response and watch a smile spread across her face at this. I smile back at her and try to quiet her when she starts to babble, but the harder that I try, the louder she becomes.

That's when I know our hiding spot is given up, and we have been caught. The echoes are louder, _much_ louder and I can hear deep, heavy breathing coming from somebody as they round the last corner and are walking straight towards Nik and me. The figure I can just barely make out, but I can tell is strong, and built big, sort of like Tobias. That is when I can see their face as they stand about two feet away from me under the camera and just a little past the blue light. I see their face so clearly that I see the tear stained cheeks and the red puffy eyes as they bore into mine.

_Tobias._ His strong, deep voice cracking toward the midway of the sentence point as I listen fully intent on doing whatever he asks me to, that is until I hear what he has to say in his request.

"Please, oh God_ please_, don't _ever_ take my daughter away from me like that again Beatrice. Please, _no!_"

**AN: How was that, huh? I know, I know, I know, crappy? Am I right? Like I said I am very sick and tired, hopefully I will be able to post the next chapter by Wednesday at the latest. **

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	6. Remorse and Retry

**AN: So, I wanted to get another chapter to explain everything that had happened between Four and Tris since I was home and sick the past couple of days and this chapter is the second longest chapter ever because of the long wait. Also, no they aren't going to break-up, I just figured that if I was in Tris's shoes and I hadn't seen my boyfriend in over a year and I had a baby while he was gone, not everything was going to be all sunshine and rainbows in the beginning. After this chapter, training will begin and they will be some up and downs during training, just like in the book. **

Previously:

_Tobias._ His strong, deep voice cracking toward the midway of the sentence point as I listen fully intent on doing whatever he asks me to, that is until I hear what he has to say in his request.

"Please, oh God_ please_, don't _ever_ take my daughter away from me like that again Beatrice. Please, _no!_"

I stare at him with a look of pure confusion and shock on my face as to what he just said. _Please, oh God, _please,_ don't ever take my daughter away from me like that again Beatrice. Please, _no! These words echo in my head like they are on repeat, and I notice how he also used my full name instead of Tris. I continue to stare at him until I feel small hands being lifted away from my hands and in the direction of my right shoulder. I look over and I didn't even realize that Tobias had now moved from standing away from Nik and me to be sitting down on my right. I snap out of my thoughts as I see bigger hands reach across and grasp the smaller hands.

"How did you find us?" I blurt out of nowhere and I don't even realize I actually said that out loud until he responds.

"I work in the Control Room when I am not training initiates. I ran there after you walked out of the Training Rom and searched all of the cameras with a buddy of mine, Zeke, and eventually we were able to find you guys all the way down here." He mumbles and I realize that when Nik saw the camera focusing in on us that was them searching for us.

I focus my eyes in on the scene before me and I feel Nik's little feet bounce up and down on my stomach as she holds her daddy's hand and babbles on in her own language. I smile back at her causing her grin to spread even wider, and then she looks over at her daddy and starts giggling next. I look over too and see Tobias making funny faces at her and smiling also. I continue to look between my daughter and her dad before I hear somebody calling out my name.

"Tris, Tris, TRIS!" Four says multiple times before I answer, or even hear him.

"Yeah?" I ask him and readjust Nik so she is standing on the cement floor between us as I hold her up by her waist.

"I asked if you heard what I said," he answers with a slight chuckle afterwards and I can see the force smile on his face since the smile doesn't reach his eyes all the way.

"No, sorry I had zoned. What were you saying?" I ask him telling him the honest truth on how I had zoned out instead of paying attention to him like I should've been. I should've put his needs before mine.

"Your Abnegation is showing Tris. I was the same way when I had first arrived last year." Tobias says still chuckling a little bit afterwards. I can feel myself blush from embarrassment and nod my head in understanding of him. "Anyways," he continues on from before. "I was talking about what had happened before hand, you know, back in the Training Room when…. When you walked out the door with my-our daughter, I mean." I can hear the stuttering in his voice towards the end and a part of me wants to be mad at him for almost saying that Nik is _his_ daughter when he has been in Dauntless since she has been born.

But I know that I can't be upset with him for that because I was the one who told him to leave Abnegation even though I knew what would happen to him, to us. I was the one who told him to choose Dauntless for his Choosing Ceremony. And so I know that part of this argument was my fault also, because I told him to go and leave me while I was pregnant with our baby girl.

"I, I know that I have been in Dauntless for the duration of your pregnancy and for the birth of our little miracle, and I know that I am just now becoming part of the family that you two have already started, but I don't want you to take her away from me. I also don't want a repeat of, of…." His voice startles me from my thoughts and when he doesn't finish his sentence I know exactly what he is referring to. He is talking about the incident back in Abnegation, the incident that led to the night where I conceived.

"Tobias," I start and take a deep breath to by myself more time in order to gather my thoughts. I can feel the intensity of his stare on me, and I am about to continue on with what I am going to say when I feel Nik's weight being lifted from my hands and I watch as my hands are being moved from her waist. I look over to see Tobias has picked her off the ground and is giving her a hug as she looks over to me and starts to smile and nuzzle her head into the crook of his neck. I gently scoot over the few inches that are in between us and place my hand on her back and rub up and down, a trick I learned the first week she was born that helps her to go to sleep, and by the look on her face she is beyond exhausted.

"Please, continue." Tobias says as our eyes lock and I, once again, feel the intensity of his gaze as his eyes look over my face.

I decide to start back over again. "Tobias, I know that what happened back in the Training Room was an accident and for that, I forgive you. But, you have to know that I only left _because _of what happened back in Abnegation, and I know the extent of your anger and I didn't want something to happen to Nik. When it was only me that got hurt, that was one thing, but now that we have Nik, that's an entirely different story. Okay?" I say all in one breath and then take a deep breath to calm down my racing heart.

" Okay." Four answers and I can see the internal debate going on inside of his face, and I know that look on his face. He wants to say more but he is holding back for now. I take that moment to realize how much he truly does know about me, how he knows to stop for now and we will continue the conversation about Abnegation later.

I don't know how much time has passed since I first found my way all the way to when Tobias came and we had our talk, but I do know that it must've been a while judging by how my hunger has grown in the time since we arrived. We are still in the same position from before, the only difference now is that Nik is asleep and Tobias is whispering stories into her ears and I am listening to them. I am listening to the sound of his deep and rough voice sooth our daughter and keep her asleep while she rests peacefully, and completely oblivious to the danger going on around her, and the danger going on between her parents. Tobias must be hungry also because he licks his lips and looks deep in thought.

"Hey, how about we go back to my apartment and can fix us something to eat there. That way we can put Nik down for the evening, and you can see how I have set-up her room and our room also. I mean if you want to move in there with me after your initiation." Tobias says looking over at me waiting for an answer and I accept with a lingering thought on my mind.

"But what if I don't survive initiation though Tobias?" I ask him as we get up and I take his offered outstretched hand and intertwine our fingers together, trusting that he can lead us out of here without much difficulty.

"I know you Tris, and I also know that initiation won't be easy but I honestly think that you will be able to pass initiation." Tobias replies back confidence loaded in his response.

"Okay," I reply still doubting myself though, and I can tell the minute that Tobias catches on to it because we stop walking and he turns toward me and gently takes his hand from our intertwine fingers and cups my face.

"I know that you will pass initiation Tris, because you have more reasons than anyone else to fight for your Dauntless member spot." He says to me, and I know that he is correct as I have both him and Nik to fight for.

"Okay." I answer this time positive that I can become one of _them, _one of the Dauntless. We continue walking down the many hallways that led me to my new favorite hiding spot, even though I know I most likely won't remember how to get there in the first place. We turn the corner again and now I can hear cheering and yelling becoming much more evident, and not before long we are back at the pit walking along all of the stores before we come to more hallways with apartments on either side of them.

We walk for a little while longer until we take a few flights of stairs up several levels and enter another hallway with more apartment numbers on the front of each door. We get to the end of the hallway and he turns right to the last door on the corridor and pulls out a set of keys and unlocks the door and gestures for me to go in first. I oblige and walk into a pretty good size living space that opens up into a kitchen and kitchen table off to the right. On the left is another hallway with what looks like a few bedroom doors, and a couple of bathrooms. I also notice how every door is opened, and how the kitchen is opened up to the kitchen table and living space. _Tobias has always had a fear of confinement._ I remind myself as I hear the door being gently closed behind me and Tobias walks into the living space.

"Nice place," I comment and go to follow him and watch as he pulls out a baby swing from behind the couch and pulls the swing into the area between the kitchen table and kitchen. He adjusts the swing until he is satisfied with whatever he is doing, and places Nik down in the swing with one hand while the other straps he in and presses a button. A soft lullaby starts up and the swing starts to swing slowly and gently back and forth, easily rocking my sleeping angel. I am so caught up in watching Tobias be the father I knew he would be that I only vaguely hear him mutter a "thanks" in response.

I walk over to where he stands next to the swing and look up at the proud, cocky smirk on his face. I chuckle lightly to myself and in this moment I feel loved. I feel loved by the little girl in the swing and by the man standing next to her. I know that Tobias feels the same way as me because he takes me small, petite hands in his bigger, calloused ones and leans in to kiss me on the cheek. Then he pulls me to him and we stand there hugging each other, never wanting to let go, but we know that eventually we will have to. So Tobias is the first to do so.

"Now, shall I fix us something to eat?" He asks with a genuine smile on his face that actually reaches his eyes this time. I nod my head yes, and before he can pull me away I bend down and press a kiss to Nik's crown and kiss both of her cheeks, and then lastly her nose before I whisper loving things into her ears.

We finished dinner and threw away the paper products, which was everything, and I started to make my way back to where Nik was, but before I could even take a step Tobias's fingers wrapped around my wrist slightly pulling me back towards him.

"I want to give you a tour of the apartment." He says and I nod my head and follow him to the middle of the apartment.

"Well, as you can tell, this is the living space, kitchen, and kitchen table." He says then starts to walk towards the hallway with me in tow, and opens up the first door. "This is the bathroom," he says and we walk to the next door. "The guest bedroom," he continues. "This is Nik's room." He says and opens up the door more and inside I see grey walls with a black crib, black rocking chair, and every piece of interior furniture either grey with a black accent, or all grey or all black. I am ultimately amazed at the thought and precision taken into account when he decorated the room. The next thing that he says wraps up my thoughts perfectly.

"I thought that since I had no way of knowing whether the baby was a boy or a girl, I figured that I could do a bit of past with present. Grey for Abnegation, and black for Dauntless." He says and I nod my head still in awe of Nik's bedroom. I notice a wall with a couple of shelves on them, and all of the shelves have baby toys, except for one. On the bottom shelf there is a picture frame with a black and white picture, I recognize the picture as one of Tobias and me. I had just told him I was pregnant and my mom had already known and had the camera out and ready to go for when I told him. That has always been one of my favorite pictures, Tobias had on the same face that I probably have right now.

"Your mother gave me that picture the day of the Choosing Ceremony. I was walking out of the apartment with Marcus," I can't help but notice how he still becomes tense when he talks about his father. "And rights as we went to go past your house your mother came outside and had accidently drop something. So, I went to go and pick whatever it was that she had dropped and return it to her, but as I went to go give the picture to her and tell her that she dropped it, she turned around winked then went right back inside your house. I turned the picture over and knew that she had accidently dropped the picture on purpose." I watch him as he says all of this and notice that this time, when he says "accidently," he uses air quotes.

I am still in wonder of this room and how perfect he had done Nik's bedroom.

"I had some help from a few buddies of mine." Tobias admits and looks over at me with a sly grin on his face.

"I love it." I say, and walk over to the closet and open the doors up to a whole wardrobe of black clothing. I know for a definite that he had too of had _some_ help. I look over to the baby nightstand and see a grey clock with black coloring outlining the block numbers. I reread the clock again and notice how it is almost curfew. Tobias notices too because we move on to his-our bedroom and finish up the tour there. I walk back out to where we left Nik and gently unstrapped her from the swing while Tobias shuts the swing down. I give her a hug and a kiss on the forehead and whisper over and over again how Mommy loves her no matter what. I walk into her bedroom with Tobias on my heels and realize how he is going to feed her tomorrow morning.

"Wait, how are you going to feed her in the morning?" I ask alarmed. He opens one of the black drawers and pulls out some type of tube device, and formula.

"I know that initially you have been breast feeding her but until we have time to use this," he holds up the tube device, "I will just give her some formula." He states, and then puts the tube device and formula away, back in the drawer. "I have baby monitors hooked from her bedroom all the way to the kitchen, living space, and other bedrooms. Mine included." Tobias says and walks over to the crib and lowers the side to make putting her in there easier on me. I set her down and watch as she sleeps so relaxed before Tobias tells me that I have to go.

"I don't know how to get back to the dorms from here Tobias." I say and he nods his head in understanding, and walks back out the living space. I follow him and shut the door three-quarters of the way fully, still letting in some light to Nik's room. I watch as he walks over to the front door and turns around and puts his finger up as if to "give me one second." I nod my head and sit down on the couch.

He comes back a few minutes later with another man and women. I stand up and cautiously approach my way over to where they are standing and stand next to Tobias. He shuts the door and walks over next to me again.

"Tris, this is Zeke and Shauna. They both helped me decorate Nik's bedroom and I told you earlier how Zeke had helped me find you and Nik. Shauna also helped by the clothing for Nik. And, Zeke, Shauna this is Tris, and she named the baby Nik, N-I-K." Tobias says introducing me to Zeke and Shauna, and then them to Nik and me, even though she is in the other room sleeping.

"Where's the baby?" Shauna asks immediately trying to hold back her squeal towards the end.

"She's asleep in her bedroom." I say and then add on. "But would you like to meet her anyways?" I ask them even though I don't really know what posses me to do so.

"Yeah," Shauna is quick to answer and immediately heads in the direction of Nik's bedroom with the rest of us on her heels. I watch, ready to intervene at any point in time if I see her, or the Zeke guy, attempt anything that I do not like. But as I go to turn around and face Tobias I see he is relax and chuckling with Zeke about something, all in all, he trust them. At that thought, I relax back a little bit, but _only_ a little bit.

"Aw, she's so adorable. She really is a good ix of you two." Shauna says and there is something about her that makes me almost want to trust her.

"Right?" I hear Tobias say from behind Shauna and me, next to Zeke. I feel his arms wrap around my waist and the slight tug of the palm of his hands bring me back towards him. I see out of the corner of my eyes our guest looking at us with sparking curiosity in their eyes. So I decide to give them something to watch, and I lean back into Tobias's embrace and lace our fingers together around my waist and look over in the direction of the wall, where I see the clock.

"Four, I have to go." I state even though I nestle deeper into his chest.

"And that is why Zeke and Shauna are here, they are going to take you back for me." His response comes immediately and I can feel the deep rumble from his chest whenever he talks. I walk out of his embrace and out of the bedroom with everyone else following, not once turning back because I know that I won't be able to leave if I do. With a few more conversations and goodbyes I leave with Zeke and Shauna and make my way back to The Training Room waiting for tomorrow to come.

**AN: I hope the ending doesn't seem too crappy and cruddy, but I am trying to slowly introduce the characters into the story, and not all at once. Next update will be as soon as possible with projects and EOC Exams.**

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	7. First Day of Initiation: Part One

**AN: I am soooooo sorry for not updating in almost two months but life and the end of eight grade got in the way more than I anticipated for the both of them too. Also, my health since the last couple of chapters (where I had been mentioning that I was sick) has been an ongoing problem since December and is not increasing at all. In continuation, on top of my health I have assignments to do before this fall, when I will be starting ninth grade, and I have been focusing on those assignments more than usual. Lastly, I made the "Previously" longer than I have before because of the time lapse in my writing. Now, on with the story!**

Previously:

"Tris, this is Zeke and Shauna. They both helped me decorate Nik's bedroom and I told you earlier how Zeke had helped me find you and Nik. Shauna also helped by the clothing for Nik. And, Zeke, Shauna this is Tris, and she named the baby Nik, N-I-K." Tobias says introducing me to Zeke and Shauna, and then them to Nik and me, even though she is in the other room sleeping.

"Where's the baby?" Shauna asks immediately trying to hold back her squeal towards the end.

"She's asleep in her bedroom." I say and then add on. "But would you like to meet her anyways?" I ask them even though I don't really know what posses me to do so.

"Yeah," Shauna is quick to answer and immediately heads in the direction of Nik's bedroom with the rest of us on her heels. I watch, ready to intervene at any point in time if I see her, or the Zeke guy, attempt anything that I do not like. But as I go to turn around and face Tobias I see he is relax and chuckling with Zeke about something, all in all, he trust them. At that thought, I relax back a little bit, but only a little bit.

"Aw, she's so adorable. She really is a good ix of you two." Shauna says and there is something about her that makes me almost want to trust her.

"Right?" I hear Tobias say from behind Shauna and me, next to Zeke. I feel his arms wrap around my waist and the slight tug of the palm of his hands bring me back towards him. I see out of the corner of my eyes our guest looking at us with sparking curiosity in their eyes. So I decide to give them something to watch, and I lean back into Tobias's embrace and lace our fingers together around my waist and look over in the direction of the wall, where I see the clock.

"Four, I have to go." I state even though I nestle deeper into his chest.

"And that is why Zeke and Shauna are here, they are going to take you back for me." His response comes immediately and I can feel the deep rumble from his chest whenever he talks. I walk out of his embrace and out of the bedroom with everyone else following, not once turning back because I know that I won't be able to leave if I do. With a few more conversations and goodbyes I leave with Zeke and Shauna and make my way back to The Training Room waiting for tomorrow to come.

I awake with a start and look around to see that I am in the Dormitories, not my home back in Abnegation. However, Abnegation is not my home anymore, Dauntless is and I need to start remembering that if I plan on passing initiation. When I forcefully push the thought of Dauntless being my home into the center of my head, my thoughts are on a boat floating to Nik. Nik! I think to myself and almost fly out of bed looking for her, until I remember the evening before with Tobias in his apartment, and how he now has her.

I slow my heart rate down to a normal speed and look around the room to see that everyone, besides me, is dressed for training and almost ready to head off to breakfast. I follow their examples and shoot Christina and Will a forced smile as I head to the bathrooms to get changed, I can tell by the look on Will's face that something is not quite right, and Christina's face only confirms my suspicions. Once I am complete for training the three of us, and Al, make our way to breakfast hopping to get some food in our stomachs before the physical proportion of Dauntless initiation is on its' course.

I don't know why but I feel as if everyone is staring at me while we walk through the hallways of Dauntless and pass other Dauntless members. I can even feel Christina's, Will's, and Al's gaze on me too. I want to run away from them and I want to run away from everyone and go back to when life was much more simplified. But most of all, I want to run away to my little girl and to her daddy too, however something inside of me is telling me that even if I were to go to Tobias. He would be staring at me just like everyone else is. Wouldn't he? Or am I just over thinking reality? I am, I know I am.

We arrive at the cafeteria just moments later after I have figured out the debate in my concessions and in my head. I walk in and it's like all eyes on me, like everybody in Dauntless is playing a game of who can watch me the longest. I can feel my face flush and put my head down and stare at my combat training shoes that Christina picked out for me to wear the other day. I quickly and efficiently walk over to the table we sat at yesterday and I can feel my Abnegation side come out of me with everybody's eyes focused right at their target. _Me._

I am busy trying to find the art of losing myself in my food and concentrating on where Tobias and Nik are. I haven't once dared to look up and search the cafeteria for them even though I know that everyone has gone back to yelling and talking loudly with each other and doing ridiculous activities that the Abnegation would look down upon. The thought of that makes my heart wrench once pictures of my mom and Caleb flood my vision through the boat ride over the ocean that is connected to my thoughts of Nik from earlier this morning.

I risk a chance of just slightly picking my head up and peek at my friends sitting at the table with me. Friends. That word stops me in a quick second as I analyze the way they were acting this morning in the Dormitories. And not just they either, Peter and his gang, and Myra and Edward too were giving me looks of absolute consternation. The look was plastered on all of their faces. A picture I won't be able to get out of my head anytime soon.

Why? The word hits me like a bolder and I think to myself why? Why, is everyone looking at me like that this morning? What happened that I am unaware of? Nik and Tobias. Did something happen to Nik and Tobias between last night and this morning? But if so, I thought Christina said we were friends, and if we were friends wouldn't she tell me what's going on. However, before I have time to think this through further, Max and Eric appear on the railing above us that overlooks the cafeteria. Just like how the clouds are a never ending stream of protection that over looks the world. Except for when there is a gap in between the clouds for a few days, and that is when we are left to fight for ourselves, to protect the ones we love and care for the most. And something tells me that today is going to be one of those gap days... One of those gap days where we are stronger untied as individuals together, or on our own. Judging by everyone's faces today, I am on my own.

I am the last to walk through the barricades that are doors leading to the entrance of the Training Room. Everyone hurried to shuffle out of the cafeteria after Eric's threatening voice promised our life's that we would become Faction Less if we didn't get to the Training Room in five minutes. I was one of the first to jump up from our table in hopes of finding Tobias and Nik here when I walked through the door, but with me being the smallest I was easily pushed back to the end and forced to wait out everyone else's turns of not losing their lives. But now I don't really care if I was first or not because neither Tobias nor Nik are here, only Eric and the Dauntless-Born trainer, Lauren.

"Alright listen up everybody, there has been a slight change in today's training. As you can see for yourselves Four is not here, yet anyways, and he will be late so I'll be in charge of the Transfers until he arrives. Lauren is still in charge of the Dauntless-Borns and she will be training those of you who were born Dauntless over there," Eric takes a minute to pause and point over to the other side of the Training Room where Lauren is currently walking over to. "Transfers you will stay here with me and begin your training. Any questions? Good didn't think so; glad we're all on the same page here." Eric finishes on a sarcastic note, and ignores the few hands that do go up at the end when he asks.

But my thoughts aren't centered on the training at this moment as I stand in front of the punching bag trying to figure out the moves that Eric showed to all of us before the Dauntless-Borns were separated from the Transfers. My thoughts are mainly centered on why Tobias will be late, and why. The questions from earlier at breakfast resurface and I find myself completely stopping from my training and close my eyes, taking a deep breath as well and trying to glue all of the puzzle pieces together. Everyone faces, everyone stares, Eric's speech when we first arrived. I continue to stand there with my eyes open staring at my punching bag as I realize that all of those items have one person in common. Not Tobias, or even Nik, but me. How though? I find myself asking to no one in particle but the thick hole in my heart that could only be filled by holding Tobias and Nik in my arms. Or holding Nik in my arms and being wrapped up in Tobias's warm, muscular embrace.

I hear footsteps echoing from behind, and by how loudly they echo-besides the fact that everyone has stopped training and is staring at me now-I know they belong to Eric. His cold-hearted voice only confirms my assumption. "Is there a problem Stiff? Why did you stop, huh? Is Dauntless to hard for you? Or are you worried about your boyfriend and daughter?" He spits out the last sentence with such venom that I am shocked he could talk about my family like that. I don't know where from, but buried deep inside of me I find the need to stand up and protect my semi-family. I believe that our little family is only a semi-family, because I am not a Dauntless member, hopefully yet, and Tobias and I aren't married nor do we love together.

As I turn around, anger seeping thru my every bone, not knowing what I intend to do until I do it, I find that another voice has answered for me. The voice that I have been begging to hear since last night when I left him and our daughter. I feel like when I left them, a part of me actually left them for good. Like I was abandoning them. I don't ever want to feel that again. I am quickly interrupted from my train of thoughts by the voice continuing to talk.

"What seems to be the problem here Eric? I asked Max to ask you if you could handle training the Transfers for an hour for me. Did I choose wrongly?" His voice ran out dark and loud at the same time. Everybody who had stopped to watch the interaction between Eric and I had now fully stopped and stood in a trance at Tobias as he stood behind Eric, feet shoulder-width apart and arms crossed in front of him like he was yesterday. And no Nik. Only difference between yesterday and today, are his clothing and the menacing look in his eyes. But as much as I would like Eric to crumple underneath him in outer fear, all he does is stay standing right in front of me, before he slowly turns around with a smirk on his face.

"Well, well, what do we have here? Is the big bad Four sticking up for his girlfriend, for the little Stiff? Who, if I remember correctly, came to Dauntless yesterday with a baby? What happened to Max's strict instructions of no personal feelings intervening during Training hours, huh Four, what happened?" Eric's smirk is now plastered to his face, stretching the piercings in his lip, making me wince at the thought of that pain. However, at the moment I could care less about pain, because I was just stabbed with a ton of it straight to my heart. Everything Eric had said was true, I am just a Stiff, I am Tobias's girlfriend and no matter how hard he tries personal feelings will end up intervening in the end. I find myself on that boat in the ocean again, as my thoughts continue on to what Eric had said about "Max's strict instructions" and what did that even mean? What had Tobias not told me yet? Although those thoughts anger me, I am even more outraged by the fact that Tobias is sticking up for me.

I realize that most girls would swoon at a chance for a guy to stick up for them, but it's the way that he stuck up to Eric that infuriates me. He made me look pathetic and weak in front of a Dauntless leader, a Dauntless leader who also decides my fate as an initiate and a Dauntless member. I am not weak, I am strong, I am powerful, and I protect those I love. So why is Tobias making it seem as if I am not a person who can stick up for themselves? That thought alone only makes my blood even hotter .Plus, where the heck is my-our- daughter? I decide that as my daughter's father I trust Tobias to be a great father and know that our daughter is in a safe place, and that place is most likely with Zeke and Shauna.

I vaguely hear Tobias yell to the other initiates to go back to their punching bags and to keep working on the skills that Eric had taught us. Yet I stay where I am without moving an inch, the blood still pounding in my ears and the adrenaline rush is what fuels me to turn around and to start punching the bag with as much force as I can. I can feel his eyes on me the entire time only wavering slightly to check on the other initiates. A huge part of me wants to walk over and hurt him for the embarrassment that he caused me not even thirty minutes ago. Furthermore, I wish he would stop staring at me and get back to his job of training and helping the other initiates.

This continues on until Eric yells for all of the initiates to leave for lunch. This time however, I beat everyone out of the room (including the Dauntless-Borns) I don't let my size be an excuse this time. So I sprint out of the Training Room and head to the Dormitories, I feel the sudden urge to be alone and by myself. Even when my "friends" yell at me to come back I keep running my speed picking up with every passing moment and it's not until I am at the entrance to the Dormitories that I stop, almost running into the doors in the process but finding a pair of strong arms catch me before my face connects with the brass of the doors. The pair of strong arms belong to him, I was so caught up in my run that I must not have heard him running behind me, and faster too in order to have caught up with me.

He spins me around and only then do I notice how close we are, my chest pressed against his as my back is pressed into the doors, the doors not lunging against our combined weight. "Please just leave me alone Four, I don't want to be near you of all people." I say without my voice wavering at all, I can see the shock on his face, I am pretty sure that mine mirrors his also. To my surprise also, he leans in with our foreheads touching each other's and my long nose fitting the space of his hooked nose our breaths mingling with each other's too.

"No." Is his reply as he pushes against the doors forcing them to finally budge and open for us as he grabs my hand and pulls me to my bed? "Sit," he orders in his instructor's voice, which my reply is a glare and narrowed eyes but compelling none the less. I see the side of his lips turn up just the slightest before quickly going back down into the thin-pressed line that they were before. Next, he drops down to the floor in from of me on both of his knees and engulfs my smaller hands in his much larger ones. His next words surprise me the most out of everything that had happened so far in that day.

"Talk, because I know you Tris, and I know when something is bothering you. And as much as I hate to admit it, I sort of have the feeling that I am the thing that is bothering you. So talk." This time it is an order again, but not as harsh as the previous one, yet more like somebody who is begging to know your deepest secrets because they truly do care about you. Furthermore, I do.

"How long is lunch again?" I ask trying to lighten the mood and release some of the tension in the room. He lets out a deep, throaty chuckle in reply.

**AN: So, once again how was it? I thought that overall this chapter was pretty good; however, there is always room for improvement and all grammar mistakes are my own. Plus, I made this chapter longer than normal since I haven't uploaded a chapter in almost two months! Lastly, two more things one, follow me on Instagram at Mariah . Laber but without the spaces. Furthermore, if you actually read these author notes then review or PM me the name Bosco. That's my dog's name who means the world to me.******

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